Be there, and be square
What will happen at May's Game or Watch? Well, we're not psychic so it's hard to know exactly, but here's a rough guess.
We'll have a few pints, play a few games and eat a few roasts. Each, in some cases. Some of us will turn off looking worse for wear from the previous night. Others, Smiles for example, will wear a hangover and stubble like an expensive suit.
The one thing that is certain is that there will be plenty of games on offer. For people with long hair and dexterous digits, there will be PSPs, TVs and various other electronic gadgets. There might even be Donkey Kong on one of those splitscreen 1980s machines.
Others will sit quiety, contemplating Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit and Risk, though why anyone would bother to start a game of Risk without first booking a week off work is beyond many. Sadly there won't be Test Match - the set that arrived from eBay having turned up without ball. Or batsman. Or bowler...
In short, it will be bloody great. We would say that it won't be the same without you, but it will. It will still be great, it's just that you won't get to experience it - you misser outer, you.
Scrabble was de rigour in April, to use two words that would only be allowed in a French version of the game. Well, they might be allowed in some places, Stoke for example, where pretty much every other word is derrr, or err, or ummm.
But we play Scrabble on a different level. Just look at the words going across - Danger, Dork, Feels, Mail. That's a sentence, not just a selection of random words.
Danger, dork feels mail. Who wouldn't be worried by that - little weirdos getting kicks by touching up your bills and postcards, leaving odd little stains in the corner...
Oh, we also played Trivial Pursuit, but there's no need to go into that.